Metamorphosing into a murderer

I guess I’m killing my parents slowly. Yes, I’ve thought (and still think) I’m pretty smart, but that wasn’t entirely from my perspective: my parents until now think I’m a real genius incapable of failure if I tried hard enough. My teachers of yesteryears similarly think so, and my siblings think I’m some god that they should emulate and obey. Though it may be extremely fun for some, I’m not someone with a god complex. In fact, I only think I’m smart; I don’t know if I truly am. I wonder why some people can’t realize the inherent difference between personal assumption and universal knowledge.

Flunking a course is personally unacceptable for me, but failure totally isn’t. I’d like to think I’m some regular, leisurely Joe who delights in pleasures like watching anime, playing DotA, or reading well-written classics, not some inhuman machine that only has grades in mind and the achievement of something even impalpable in real life. What do honors really mean, anyway? One guy in our class is arrogant and conceited, and he’s an honor student. Do most of us accord him that? We don’t. We think he’s some uptight bitch incapable of intelligence because all of what he has learned is simply by rote. And it reflects whenever unpredictable situations come his way: he totally freezes.

It sucks to be grown as the ‘prize cock’ of the family, although that metaphor may not be the best, because people expect you to be ‘t3h p4rf3ct!!!,’ when it couldn’t happen because you are simply human. I came out totally happy from an exemption (a final grade of A, mind you) I obtained (with some begging for vital partial points) that allowed me not to take the finals anymore in Chemistry. One of my parents asked me why I wasn’t the highest. It’s quite frustrating, although I understand that they think that way because I’ve achieved so much in the realm of academics, or so they thought, in my journey towards college and university life. Right now, however, I’m just flourishing and living life content with all the fun and excitement I can glean from college life while still being retained in its flow. Though I promise myself I won’t flunk a course, I didn’t promise myself from losing me. I’d like to have fun while taking things needed to be taken seriously seriously enough, but I will never lose that aspect of fun รขโ‚ฌโ€œ it’s what keeps me sane. I hope my parents would understand that someday, but seeing that they probably wouldn’t as of now, I’d just write it as a rant full of angst.

Of course, so as to be not entirely off-topic, I’m also going to write about anime. I know what my blog is supposed to be about (anime), so I’m just injecting seemingly irrelevant stuff that show my humanity in it.

In the case that you are not interested about my life or don’t give a damn, just read after this line. (I made it bold so that it would stand out and save the uninterested people an amount of time.)

* * *

I’m still pretty surprised why I’m waiting more fervently for a new Asatte no Houkou episode than a Death Note one considering the fact that I’ve been waiting quite some time for a DN anime. I guess I’m a sucker for well-made first episodes that contain poignant plot twists and some romance.

The new episode of NHK has already been subbed by Oyasumi, and I can’t wait for more character development and scenes of pathos-evoking humanity. Please, let the download finish!

I’ve also watched the first episode of Perfect Girl Evolution hours ago. I hope it develops to be a quasi-anime adaptation of ‘My Fair Lady’ which was in turn an adaptation of G. B. Shaw’s ‘Pygmalion’ where the baroque Sunako develops to be a true woman (and if you removed the pimples and the dry skin, she already looks like one and she can cook quite well too!). It’s going to be a challenge because a simple rejection from a guy she liked two years ago triggered her drastic inferiority complex that, fast forward to the present time, has morphed her into someone who loves the dark and the morbid as well as one who shies away from personal interaction. Though I can see some of its parallelisms with Ouran, I’d say this is a totally different show. I hope it ends happily, however, with the princess becoming a true princess as well as with her finding her true prince. I don’t mind sappy endings as long as they’re pulled of extremely well.

As a side note, I like Chobits‘s OP done by Round Table feat. Nino. They sing pleasant songs. ๐Ÿ™‚

I still hate my disk space. It’s too small. ๐Ÿ™‚

15 Responses to “Metamorphosing into a murderer”

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  2. Retsgip Says:

    Aww, no Tom Cruise missles ๐Ÿ™

    Hey, you should be happy you’re even supported by your parents/family/relatives. You’re lucky that you have people that believe in you and believe that you’re uber smart. I’ve never experienced that my entire life, so what does that make me? I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s better to murder a little bit of what your parents believe you can do, than not have anything for them to murder in the first place. Also, just be whatever makes you happy. Don’t put yourself through a lifetime of disappointment because you became something you hate.

    As for Death Note, Assate no Houkou, and NHK, I love them all!

  3. Ryan A Says:

    Yaay! You finished with some stuff on anime ๐Ÿ™‚ Nah, I feel your situation; and I agree with Retsgip (be happy). You already know you don’t like failing so do what you must to be happy.

    on NHK! LOL, I wonder if NHK will make more ppl want to become NEET or be unNEET. Catch 22

    cheers!

  4. akanie Says:

    yeah, i know what its like, i’m the being the frist born and expected to be the really good one and all that. Your totally right having fun is one way to remain sane!! lovin’ Asatte no Houkou!

    umm…. I’m new… so plz don be so mean to the n00b!
    _|-|o …. *^-^* V love you blogs btw…

  5. akanie Says:

    *woops!* i put “i’m being the frist born” LOL so sorry about that!!!

  6. jpmeyer Says:

    You said “cock”.

  7. Michael Says:

    I want to play DotA all day long, watch good series like NHK all day long, kill time doing nothing except reading all day long. I guess that’s impossible, so I’m just having fun! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Randall Fitzgerald Says:

    I had that same issue, Japes. It led me to give up on school around 6th grade (got sick of trying for no real gain) and generally do whatever I wanted. So I started goofing off a lot and getting bad grades. never failed a class, but like you, I tended not to really care if I succeeded. I mean, it’s my own personal ideal, not someone else’s. I got sick of getting “This is good, but you can do better” when I bring home straight As and my sister gets praise for near failing and has excuses made for her. Whatever, though. I beat my own path and it’s something my mother has come to grips with, mostly because I made it clear that she wasn’t going to dictate anything to me. GANBARE!

    Cock.

  9. Randall Fitzgerald Says:

    I typed Japes because he put cock in my brain. My bad. Fucking bastard. >.>

  10. Michael Says:

    ^.^ My name is Michael, by the way. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. meganeshounen Says:

    Actually, I was more interested in the rant part rather than the anime review part of the post.

    I was born 3rd of four kids, my first two siblings being tough to match. One’s enrolled in a special state university and landed a job as an accountant, another’s enrolled to a less prestigious university but acheived a job with a bigger salary then my eldest sister (ironically). That just leaves me to play catch-up with my sisters.

    It’s tough when your parents try to egg you on performing as well as your other siblings, especially if you accept to yourself that you’re just not that intelligent…

    /me recalls the time he flunked a subject… and the subsequent depressing moments

  12. Taiyaki Says:

    Wow, here even if you get 100% in a course, failing the final means failing the entire course.

    In highschool, I always thought of myself as one of the smarter people; not the best, but smart. I’ve now been enrolled in the best university in my province for a while and all, but after coming here, I realize just how normal I am. Going to university made me realize just how easy highschool was. I’m probably below average compared to a majority of the people here.

    Sad, sad truths.

  13. Tsukasa Says:

    You mis-spelled “off”. Heh, just messin’ with ya. It only shows that you’re human. ^^; Anywho, if you like’d the intro to Chobits then you’d probably like some of the .Hack music.

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  15. RhettWilson Says:

    Hey,
    Great stuff here!
    I’ll definitely bookmark this place and come back soon.

    Rhett

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