Lost and found
I have been reading only a few blogs about anime this past half year. That amounts to quite some time, but then again, I have had to experience a terrible first semester which left me no time for exploration. Indeed, the experience of a bad semester left me little room for expansion of my perceptions as well as the explorations of others, but it gave me a lot of time to reflect and to ponder primarily why I was not what I used to be, which became the source of mostly introspective and reflective posts. I often looked inward, not outward, and although I had an unlimited source where I could cull my thoughts, I believed I was trapping myself within me, like what Japan did before the 1900s. True, it gave the nation the improvement and solidarity that it sought, but it also blinded them from knowing their bounds. I guess the similar thing was happening to me. I did not know where my limits were as a person, and as an avid fan I limited myself to only my own value judgments with regard to the anime I watched.
I believe in myself, who believes in himself
It was a good thing I stopped entrenching myself within the shell I created. I started reading more anime blogs than the usual ones I read, and frankly the only blog I read with consistency these past six months was RyanA’s AloeDream. I appreciate his friendly demeanor towards me as well as his lighthearted (and this I mean in a positive manner) way of blogging.
The reward was instantaneous. Just this morning, I read a meta-blogging attempt by Jeff, and the insights I gained from the short post of his was outstanding. Reading his introduction reminded me of my old days in WordPress where I had an average of twenty comments each summary post of Ergo Proxy I wrote, and visitors of at least a thousand a day. I stopped writing about Ergo Proxy because the anime came to a point where it was almost incomprehensible as well as very boring. On a personal level, I could not do summary posts even on a weekly basis: the action tired me too much. Blogging was supposed to be a catharsis, but writing those seemed to me as chores. I stopped, and so my traffic suffered.
Nowadays, I write primarily what I want, and when I am in the right mind I tend to think writing about media in general, with anime as a focal point. Otherwise, my lows would reflect the times when all I would write about were updates about what happened to me. A writer fails to remain a writer if he is not read; to remain as one, I had to remind what faithful readers remained that I was alright but struggling through school.
I appreciate comments more than visits, though. I guess I will not mind if only twenty people a day visit my blog as long as they add something to my posts, which double as springboards to discussion. I truly appreciate those who have written comments in my posts (whether coerced or not) because they allow discussion to proceed and intellect to foment (I am getting fond of this word nowadays).
I guess Jeff and I have reached the same conclusion: we have to post more. This was no attempt at meta-blogging, but I guess reflections on a meta-blog post end up as meta-blogging anyways.