Alternatives to a plague of wish-fulfillment

Ever since I obtained the Casio Loopy console I became privy to the reality of the possibility of getting the different video game consoles of yesteryear as long as I had the money. It was an epiphany that triggered a shopping spree that was neither merely petty obsession or impulse, but a maelstrom of both.

This is a cool game.

This is a cool game.

I absolutely refuse to call it an obsession, because obsessions are not sequestered in reality or rationality. They transcend both; in fact, they are irrational peregrinations into certain pleasures that can neither be controlled or placated. On the contrary, while I do purchase certain dubitable items off eBay (vintage video games, and vintage video game consoles), I do not purchase those items that are out of my reach, or unforgivably expensive for my status as a post-graduate student. I purchase items I know I can pay for and save for in addition to my desiring for them.

In the same vein, I refuse to call it an addiction anymore. Research into the psychology of addiction has made me realize that the fact I recognize and control my whims removes it from that definition. Despite my profligate nature with regard to the items that I have purchased, I have reined in a lot of my more stupid desires. Looking into myself, I can probably describe my current state (regarding eBay) as some sort of a chimera: the ability to be able to obtain the things that I wanted as a child dovetailed with my desires of youth does not bode really well. Understood from another lens, I know and recognize that what I spend is not money well-spent, but it is money that I spent and those things are things I own. It is a powerful feeling, one that has been welcome for nearly a year but is welcome no longer. I need to proceed to things that are more relevant and useful to me, or, if I can’t, at least on to things that are a lot cheaper.

The past few weeks, I have attempted to shift, once more, my passion for the video games of the past into the soap of the past. Soap is cheaper, after all, and it has served well as a new year’s resolution. However, when my mother called me, and I saw my Paypal account I realized I spent 30 dollars on soap. Just on soap. While it’s not an addiction, I realized that it was still a pretty stupid resolution and it does not really address the problem of me spending on useless stuff.

I’m looking for alternatives. I think I’ve watched a lot more anime the past month than the whole year combined, and it has helped a little, but not much. I want something unique that I can be passionate about without it harming my wallet in the long run. I know it ultimately boils down to self-discipline and a cathartic self-realization, but things are much easier said than done. I’m glad that I already made the progress of shifting the compulsion to something less harmful; now, however, I want to shift it to something productive.

Any suggestions? (Thanks for reading. :))

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5 Responses to “Alternatives to a plague of wish-fulfillment”

  1. Smashingtofu Says:

    Oh wow, I haven’t read this blog in ages. Belated welcome back!?

    I think I can relate insofar that I have multiple fragmented desires; like aiming to own every single musical instrument in existence or owning a giant library filled to the brim with comics. (impossible with my budget haha)

    At least for me the fact that I’m an artist (more specifically animation/comics) prevents me from spending too much on my many ‘wish-fulfillments.’ It helps that it’s something I like to do and know that the more I do it the more fulfilled I’ll be in the long run. If anything just lazily drawing invisible lines in thin air calms me down… (or certifiably insane)

    Maybe pick up an inexpensive hobby that’s productive in the long run?
    Regardless of talent it’s always been in us to be able to ‘create’ things artistically too so that may be something to look into. (and by artistically I don’t limit simply drawing as an art)

  2. Ryan A Says:

    Man, I just purchased a lot of soaps, different ones, but I think I managed to grab a lavender 🙂

    Yea, multiple /want/ streams are very tough to deal with. I have been coding on projects that I want to do well, but it’s a really tough situation. Then there is blogging and generally enjoying the experience of media. It takes the back burner too often, but I just think “something has to get done.”

    Thankfully I finished uni this past semester, but will likely continue on sometime this year. Saa~ do what we enjoy… I wish I did that.

  3. Michael Says:

    Smashingtofu:

    Yeah, long time no see. 🙂

    It’s like that. I want all the obscure consoles of yesteryear and yet I don’t have the budget, just the desire. It sucks. I think it also goes the same for me: I’m a medical student, I don’t really have the time to happily browse and buy stuff on eBay.

    I’m still looking for that inexpensive hobby. Nowadays, you have to spend everytime you move. 🙁

    Ryan A:

    I love lavender. <3

    Don't know if you spent 30 dollars on it, but I did. It's a big deal here, where soaps cost 50 cents. I have an exam to deal with but it's often on the back burner as well. I don't really fail, but I don't get high scores either. And while I already finished uni I still have roughly 10 years or so of study. Medicine does not get any easier. :/

  4. hayase Says:

    How about sketching?

    As in sketching the human anatomy LOL

    Seriously, the only thing that comes to my mind right now is running. You just need shoes, decent clothes, a place to run, and off you go! It’s good for your health. But sadly, this is the Philippines, where parks (in the cities) are shockingly few for a country rich in natural resources. I’ve been to Singapore, a country smaller than the Philippines, and the parks there make me very envious.

    Aside from that, why not get back to reading? You are a student, and you still have access to your school’s library–why not borrow from there? That is, if they have other stuff aside from medical books. Borrowing there is free (almost). One of the things I miss most about school is the access to the library–free internet, the latest news magazines and access to classic books.

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