In medicine, I’ve never been the smartest, or the most talented. It’s probably because I don’t really have much love for it, and am just content to float through it. I didn’t expect to be recognized as one of the better interns around, too, because I guess deep within I knew that I wasn’t.
I think what frustrated me most was that I expected to be recognized as one of the best IM interns because that was what I was told by our resident who was intern-in-charge. She even congratulated me through the phone for my achievement. It wasn’t blowing my own horn: the egg was already as good as hatched, so long as I could trust what she said.
Why wouldn’t I, though? She was the the one in-charge for us, so I expected her word to become reality. Instead, I became disappointed when I knew I wasn’t going to be called after the sixth-best IM intern was already called. In lieu of me was one of my close friends whom I knew was a much more sly intern than I was. I’m not jealous towards him; I’m very happy toward his achievement, although I couldn’t help but wonder why I wasn’t in the top 10 when it was made clear to me that I was.