Ever since I was young, I’ve always found myself different from my peers. It’s never been much of a problem because I usually skirt burgeoning fights by being quick on my toes and my head. I was also an excellent student so I wasn’t much of a problem to my professors. Perhaps that’s why I find myself tolerating other people’s idiosyncrasies easier when I matured. I mean, after all, I’m already 24, and I still watch anime.
I haven’t been heartbroken much since I haven’t really tried much, but I realized that my reaction to it was just as offbeat as any of my quirks: instead of wallowing in a temporary amnesia caused by dipsomania, I either write or purchase items from eBay I would never have the gall of purchasing in a more balanced mental state. (And in a more balanced mental state, I guess I wouldn’t write something like this.)
I guess one of my barely healed wounds of the heart have recently reopened a bit. So how do I deal with it? I ponder on bidding for an accessory to that treasured handheld of mine. What does that accessory actually do, one asks?
It’s just a lamp.
It’s a glorified lamp. Contained within the gray plastic case are six small, incandescent light bulbs that turn on when batteries are placed to complete the circuit, and it currently costs 35 USD (which I believe would not go any higher, unless there’s someone even more passionate OR stupid than I am when it comes to stuff like that). It would have been a fair price had the accessory been pristine, but with silver bleeding all over the reflector and with a broken on-off switch, who in their right mind would purchase a small, unpredictable lamp for 35 dollars? (I mean, someone other than me, of course.)
Whenever I ponder about things like these I just sit down and write, and most of the time my reason comes back to me before I do anything stupid. While I indeed would like to have the item, I can’t condone its exorbitant price, so I’ll just wait for it to get significantly cheaper, or just spend my money more wisely. I’m not even thinking of the girl because of these things.
But I’m grateful for being like this. I’m grateful for not running into alcohol or anything destructive whenever I’m down. Even if I did spend a bit for the item, the worst I would be hurting are my savings. Perhaps others would think of this as blatantly stupid (and perhaps it is) but I’m glad I have the privilege of being able to translate what I think into words that roughly convey how I feel. From insignificant reflections such as these to broad comparisons of anime series, being able to write is something one should be truly grateful for.