Archive for the ‘Quintessential Allusions’ Category

A matter of perspective

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

I know this isn’t the Chicken Soup for the Soul website, but I just wanted to share something personal today (it also ties in tangentially to my dearth of updates within these past few weeks). I was never a moralistic person, but I just wanted to share a part of myself today.

I have had a rough week.


Let me be entirely honest: to say that I have had a rough week is a little bit of an understatement, as it has only been one interminable disappointment. Imagine passing through a well-cemented road for the better part of the month only to transition, without any warning, into a pockmarked road with pebbles and rocks as its pimples.

I think it came to a head yesterday evening: I promised to swear myself off eBay and shifted my pastime into once again enjoying DotA, when I checked my e-mail a little into today’s early morning hours. What I saw was an absolute steal: there was an auction for untested Super Micro cartridges (yes, the system that I have been bragging about and obtained with the help of Crusader and Angelus), and they were all only for 15 dollars. I thought that was a very justifiable reason to break my avoidance of eBay as I have hunted for those cartridges for quite some time, only to discover that when I clicked the buy-it-now (about an hour and a half passed) it was already sold.

I was devastated, to say the least.

I really thought it was going to be the break I needed from all the disaster I have experienced in the past few weeks. On the contrary, however, it just added to my disappointments. I had a hard time sleeping and was very depressed: I even hoped that it would be resold for a still affordable price; I hoped that the systems didn’t work (since I think they were included too), but it nevertheless really struck me that I was just an hour and a half too late. I could have checked my mail at that exact time it came out, but I didn’t, and it just ate on me.

I am trying to be more mature as a person, however, and as such, I wanted to move on. I wanted to curse God yesterday, but it wasn’t His fault; I wanted to curse myself, but I could never know what was in store in my e-mail, and I really can’t fault happenstances as well. They just happen, whether one likes it or not.

The incident soured my mood the entire day, but I had already coped and moved forward somewhat by sharing this individual, but stupid plight to my friends. Having an emotional net of support is one of the best ways to cope, and I utilized it during the day.

I stopped think about the innocuous failures of my week, however, when one of my friends told me that one of my other friends’ grandmother killed herself. I was so malcontent with the accumulation of my little failures that I couldn’t even celebrate my health, the circumstances I was living in, my triumph against pneumonia little more than a month ago, and just life in general.

She was suffering from a terminal disease in her lungs. She probably couldn’t have borne it any longer, because she killed herself. I can’t imagine how shallow my devastation was compared to my friend’s disintegration. There will be the questions, but there will never be the answers, or they will never be answered completely, and that’s more tragic than any fucking vintage video game I want to collect. I felt so stupid when I knew this.

Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have bought that game lot cheaply. But beyond these material pursuits, beyond even one of my most outstanding pursuits, wisdom, I think one idea should be pursued above all the rest: it is the idea of perspective. Man was born to be discontented and incapable of enjoying what he currently has. He always forgets that every day he lives is another gift of fate, or God.

All he needs, however, is a matter of perspective: some people are worse off than us, even if we feel that we have had the hardest luck at that specific point in our lives. I think that if everyone imbibed and live this idea, there will still be discontentment and disappointment, but everyone can move forward in their lives and accept the good as well as the bad.

No life is ever rose-colored, whether it be from the campus or the real world. Some lemons are just lemons. But at least you even have those lemons. Some don’t even have the chance to have lemons. Some don’t even have the chance to live.

Is addiction better than cure?

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

I am a person who possesses a lot of discipline with regard to the things I deem important: for example, I am rarely late at meetings, and it has come to my attention that I am usually the first to arrive at the rendezvous point. I also exercise when I deem myself needing it, and I also have discipline to submit pertinent requirements on time. However, I still lack discipline with certain things, and most important among those are my wanton purchases on eBay. Despite the helpful comments that people have suggested in my previous elaboration of this quasi-addiction of mine, I have not been able to successfully conquest this demon of spending on unnecessary things. I have purchased some more video games the past month, in addition to purchasing a vintage set of headphones (which, to my dismay, are uncomfortable despite having good sound).

vidya1 (more…)

… and so many things that I want to forget

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

In the past week, I’ve only watched a single episode of a certain anime, and I realized something: the best only get better with time. The DVD re-encodes of niizk of Honey and Clover, the anime that still remains to be my favorite among every anime series I have watched, have reminded me of how majestic the series was. I absolutely loved the prognostication of the first episode: life, indeed, is like a wheel (and this wheel symbolism is something that pervades the entirety of the series). It goes up; it goes down; but it keeps on going on. At the end of the first episode Takemoto explicates to us that there are some things we do yet we don’t know the reasons why, just as there are some things and people we like without knowing the reasons why. Despite everything, however, life must go on.

This belief somehow reminded me of a line in Pablo Neruda’s poem, No Hay Olvido (There’s No Forgetting). It’s actually the last line of the poem. The line goes: ‘and so many things that I want to forget.’ All our lives we are beset by the face and the fact of our own humanity and failures, yet we must go on. We keep on, because to keep on is to keep on living.

I love Honey and Clover. You should, too.

The beauty of Evangelion: you are not alone

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

I only watched the first Rebuild of Evangelion movie a few days ago. It was on my computer for the better part of a year, and while I had time to spare I simply forgot about it as time passed. When my sister got sick, however, I volunteered to be there with her and the only thing I could do to prevent getting bored was to watch whatever anime was left on my computer (and that was quite a sizable amount). I decided to watch the first movie after recognizing its presence, and I didn’t regret the decision. (more…)

The bone snatchers: the horrors within

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

As I’ve said in my previous posts, I have been busy chasing and dealing with the requirements of medical school. That doesn’t mean I have done absolutely nothing as regards anime: on the contrary, I have observed and watched a significant number of movies and series (both anime and live-action).

This is an OK film.

This is an OK film.