I’m no longer an anime fan.

I have no excuses.

I’m an anime fan has-been. I don’t have Internet right now, so all I do is read books and go to work. Being a medical doctor is harsh. There’s really little time for anything else than duty, and that sucks.

I still love anime, though. I saw the first episode of Psycho-Pass and was quite impressed with it. I honestly miss my analyses on Tatami Galaxy, however – or my excursions on Code Geass years ago. I want to have an Internet connection, but I have to make do with reading instead. All I can do now is go online at certain times, and that really doesn’t bode well for anime watching. Currently, I am taking back my life, trying to decimate the backlogs of novels to read.

Anime should be next. I’m quite hopeful, but I need an Internet connection to do that. It’s frustrating.

I think Summer 2013 will force me to return to watching anime.

I’ve ignored anime for too long.

But with the coming of Tsukihime, and even a new season of Spice and Wolf and the last season of Full Metal Panic, plus great manga adaptations such as Otoyomegatari, Yankee-kun to Megane-chan, and Yotsubato, I don’t think I can hold myself off any longer. Of course there’s also a new series helmed by Shinichiro Watanabe, and a new season of Sailor Moon.

OMG IT’S JUST LIKE 2010!!!

It’s weird, because another package arrived for me in the post office about a week ago, and I think I’m elated because I still couldn’t sleep despite not having had more than two hours of sleep yesterday night. I had, after all, gone for roughly 36 hours of straight work with a bit of dozing in between. It was indeed quite tiring, but after I got the package from the post office I think I was excited, although I couldn’t really show it. That’s what a lack of sleep does to you, I think.

I got another ballpen. What else is new with me, anyway? Due to our regimented schedules, however, it seems that that would be the last package I’d obtain from the post office, at least for the next two months. I can’t really get out of the hospital unless it’s past five in the afternoon for non-duty non-Sundays, and whenever I could get out at ten in the morning the post office would be closed because it’s a Sunday. I have to do what I just did over again if I do try and purchase something from eBay, and I really don’t believe windfalls come in pairs. I was already lucky enough to escape unscathed today.

Besides, I have a lot of ballpens already. I need to stop. Once again, I’m back to what I’ve been writing about this particular topic over the past year. I know I have got to stop, but sometimes I’m just driven to stupidity by that obsessive-compulsive brain of mine. I hope coffee remedies this.

More importantly, however, I just watched the first episode of Chuunibyou per the suggestions made in a previous post. It was interesting. I would gladly watch another episode tomorrow, even despite the fact that I have less than a month to prepare for our final exams. I’m hoping this comprehensive reviewer would do the job for me, since a recent article noted that bulk-reading, highlighting, and re-reading aren’t very effective ways to store information in the brain. Practice tests offer better retention, although I don’t think you can retain anything without of course opening the book at first. At least I’m re-introducing myself to anime, right?

I realized that I must have been a pretty restricted fellow. I was just an asshole at the age of the main characters of Chuunibyou, but I never believed I was something other than human. Sometimes my best friend would act as if we were Mack Bolan, but that was it. Even then I thought it was already pretty weird for being a high schooler. The heroine in this series, on the other hand, is unique. Believing in Evil Eyes and whatnot was simply something I never really grew accustomed to in my life. I just played video games. I guess even buying vintage stuff isn’t really weird. Not like that. Not like her.

When I was younger, I was flirting with obsessive-compulsive disorder. I held money on the tips of two of my fingers, and I would count to ten to make sure that the door was locked when I went to bed or went out. That was about twenty years ago, and I’m glad that I’ve gotten over it because of my parents’ guidance. My mother was especially prescient as regards my development toward the disorder that she steered me towards normalcy by reminding me that it was all right to be dirty at times, such as when handling money and that it was all right to only check the locks once, because once it had been locked there was no way that anyone could do anything about it except perhaps noisily. I grew up to be a relatively normal teenager and adult, which was already a miracle. Had I less informed parents I would probably just walk on straight lines and be an excessive stickler for cleanliness. But because they steered me onto the right path, I simply became someone unique, but within the boundaries of what most people consider to be normal.

This isn’t even remotely connected to what I’m talking about, but it’s a cute puppy!

I mean, despite being a certified fan of anime and Korean dramas, I can relate to other people well and don’t have an addiction with order outside of my head. I don’t impose my will on other people’s cleanliness especially because my own is quite lacking: I’m a relatively normal guy.

There are times, however, where shades of my obsessive-compulsive behavior actually help me do stuff. One of the things I hate doing is to drop something I’ve started, even if it’s horrible. That’s the reason why I finished Gin-iro no Olynssis, and that’s also the reason why I could read obsolescent textbooks just because I already started reading them. Of course I would often want to stop but I find an indescribable resolve to finish whatever I have started. I think those are mini-compulsions of mine: remnants of that childhood personality seem to surface whenever I feel like I need to complete something.

That already applied in my medical education for one. I never had a heart for medicine but decided to continue pursuing it since I didn’t fail anyway. I don’t know whether I love it now – I love what I’ve learned from it, but I really can’t see myself not having regular sleeping hours or even regular working hours. I also can’t see myself reading more textbooks of it for the rest of my life.

That atavism, however, keeps me going. Just now I finished skimming through an anatomy reviewer just because of that drive to finish what I’ve started. Even though I’ve essentially learned nothing, I still skimmed through the book until its very last page. I’m not even a masochist, but I still felt I had to finish it, for what it was worth. This post is even similar to that: I don’t even think I could write any worse because my eyelids are drooping and I’m in for another 36-hour duty tomorrow but I write anyway because I wish to provide at least some sort of conclusion to this post.

Well, since I’ve paid for the hosting once again, I might as well update with whatever comes into my mind. Back then, it was to support Animeblogger, but since I just think it’s an absolute waste not to update when I paid an arm and a leg for it once more I’ll just write whatever comes into my mind and hopefully link it to anime. This isn’t a free hosting anymore, after all. I’ll do what I wish to do.

I don’t think I’ll ever lose my love for anime. But I just haven’t been able to enjoy watching any of it lately, primarily because I have the looming final examinations on my mind and because I watch Korean dramas even though I can’t explain why, for the life of me. I just love watching cute real-life girls end up with decent men and endure through difficulties. Plus, come on, Kim Tae Hee is extremely attractive.

I think that it’s because of the respect I wish to accord the anime series I watch. I’m no slouch for looking for challenging, intellectual series, which is why my favorite series of all time is an anime most people don’t even know of and something that probably wouldn’t come out in any of the anime channels here in the Philippines. Most people here don’t know of Tatami Galaxy. Another thing is that I have never expected medical internship to be as spiritually draining as it has been physically, so I rely on less challenging forms of entertainment – or just challenge myself all the more. I can read pocketbooks because I can stop and steal a few pages before another patient comes in, but it simply feels impossible to do that with anime. I like to watch anime to enjoy myself, which I really don’t do well whenever there are patients around. So I just don’t, and just read classics. The last one I read was Brave New World, which was okay. It definitely struck a chord in me, seeing that our ability to think is killed by our wish to be pleasured. But a good idea doesn’t an entertaining and holistic read make.

There’s also the requirements. You’d think that a 36-hour duty would be enough, but one would have to deal with paperwork, let alone critical emergencies such as people dying that the stresses really just pile up one on top of the other. Anime, at least, the anime I watch, definitely isn’t the answer.

So there. Those are the reasons why I don’t watch anime any longer. I want to simply pine for true love these days, seeing that I’m so bereft of it (haha) that I enjoy watching good people end up together. Think of this as a hiatus from anime. Eventually, though, I’ll have to face the fact that I love anime and must make amends. I know that being a medical intern is no plausible excuse, because if I really loved it I’ll find time for it. I will, eventually – just not right now. (But I’ll keep on writing. It may not be about anime, but I simply have to retain something of myself.)

I’m sorry, I haven’t watched any anime for the past three months. That will change quite soon, but I spend the only free time I have on one Korean drama, primarily because I’m so attracted to the leading lady. It’s pathetic, I know. Recently I’ve taken a bit of time writing up short stories during lulls of our duties, and I recently finished one. I know I’m a travesty right now because I call my site anime|otaku and don’t even update on anime, but give me time. It’s not that I don’t want to watch anime, it’s that I just don’t have the time to be able to marathon or pour myself into a series, as much as I want to.

No wonder why I’m in the Friend Zone.

Are there any recent series that I may like? I’m curious because I have plans finishing Hyouka, and then I have ABSOLUTELY no idea about what series to watch. I finally finished downloading all of Sakamichi no Apollon, but the great anime this year is a blank slate to me. If there are good, potent romances, please let me know. The only recent anime I’ve downloaded is Robotics;Notes, because I read on the Steins;Gate page that it was an offshoot. That was that.

If you guys could help me with your recommendations, please do so. Within three weeks I’ll probably update more frequently.

This is my latest short story, by the way. If you guys have some time to waste, I hope you can read and review this short story here. I’m sure there are problems with it, but hey, it’s just for fun.

Internship is really draining, both physically and psychologically. I want to write something about anime but really, I haven’t even watched past the fourth episode of Sakamichi.

It’s not that I hate myself, it’s just really too much of a stress to still be able to watch anime with the leisure that I had these previous years. I’m not gone. I’ll just update time and time again because I’m still around.

I haven’t updated for some time although I tried to because I just had difficulty coming up with the right string of words to convey how I feel. But I just wanted to write how I felt, because I think Sakamichi no Apollon deserves it. At heart, Apollon is a romance show, but it’s different because it’s a romance show that’s directed by one of the greatest anime directors ever.

Within the dynamics of unrequited love Shininchiro Watanabe constructed a series that also puts the characters forward not only in their romance but in their growth as people. Only the greatest romance series could do so with consistency, as Honey and Clover did. In that sense the second episode served as an intermezzo for the third and first episodes. The third episode was simply beautiful to watch because it was borne of selfishness that is one of the hallmarks of true love.

It was only when it was too late that Kaoru realized Ritsuko’s fondness for Sentaro, that he had realized how much he had hurt her. What he had done in the ending was to confess in his own nerdy way, that he liked Ritsuko and not Yurika, and it was great to watch.

BOOM!

It’s also not hard to love a series whose lead character reminds you of yourself.

I probably won’t be able to write tomorrow seeing that I return to duty, but I like the new Lupin series. I didn’t even know Takashi Koike was involved, but I was impressed with the first episode, so I decided to keep watching. The second episode didn’t really let up in terms of quality, either. I hope the series keeps up the grit I’ve been seeing the past two episodes, because it is something one rarely sees in a Lupin III series.

I watched some Lupin III episodes back when I was younger, and I wasn’t impressed with the bungling misadventures of Lupin and his friends. However, in stark contrast to that, Lupin was a competent and intelligent thief in the very first episode of this Mine Fujiko series: his verbal fencing with Mine Fujiko and their maneuverings throughout the episode were fun to watch. The series seems to retain the insouciance of Lupin without making him seem like a joke character, which was what the original manga was all about anyway.

The second episode didn’t have less of that grit. Although it dealt with Jigen this time around, the story was actually quite captivating: it wasn’t until the end where Cicciolina’s motivations were cleared up, and it turned out to be no less than a tragedy.

I often feel empathetic toward stories that have one character seek their inexorable damnation through the people they love the most. I think I love the duality between love and sacrifice that evince itself through these situations: that’s probably the reason why I like the Cowboy Bebop movie quite a bit, because Vincent Volaju was a bit like Cicciolina.

This season has been quite a pleasant surprise.

There’s always something in a first episode that insinuates greatness in an anime. It’s difficult to describe, but it’s akin to a sliver of pain and happiness that touches the heart. I felt that from the very first minute I tuned in to Sakamichi no Apollon. Perhaps it’s because it’s been years since I heard YUKI in an anime series; perhaps because it’s been years since I’ve seen Shinichiro Watanabe direct an anime, or perhaps it is because of a multitude of factors combined.

I had been touting Sakamichi no Apollon as probably going to be the year’s best even before I saw one episode of it because of its staff, and after the first episode, it seems that I’m not wrong. Although quite unlike Watanabe’s previous two series in that it’s not rooted in action and violence, the characters and the dialogue remain to be sparkling yet minimalistic at the same time, approximating Hemingway’s works. It’s beautiful, in every sense of the word, from its fluid ‘action’ scenes to its character build-up.

It’s so good that to even attempt to summarize it would be to do it a disservice as words cannot, at least for me, express how beautiful it coalesced the characters and the plot together. But if one were to watch only one series this year, I suggest one watch this. I doubt that Watanabe would let up with his excellence, as he had never done so with his two previous masterpieces.