This write-up is not remotely related to anime. But then, as I’ve already paid for my hosting dues, I think I should be given a bit more free rein in the topics I’d like to broach. Although I will never say that I lost my love for anime, I have to admit that my mind has been weighed upon by things rather removed from anime. These two write-ups are relatively polished drafts of mine that address certain thoughts that have pressed upon me over the course of the past month. I’ve had a lot more drafts, but these two seem to be the better ones.

I wrote the two articles on the same topic but tried to be light-hearted in one, and grave in the other. I’m not sure whether this made the intended effect, but publishing it somewhere (anywhere!) would at least give me some closure regarding it. I’m sometimes consumed in the things I’ve overly passionate about, and if I didn’t put an end on it I would probably give ten more renditions on the same topic (not that I haven’t already written ten different renditions).

I hope you guys enjoy this artistic experiment. If not, then forgive me. I do know I’m repeating myself. (more…)

So, what’s the first color handheld console?

This is my Palmtex Super Micro.

I still have to control my fixations with archaic video games. I think it’s been going relatively well, but I’m still fixated with one video game system (Angelus knows, I believe). I also still have to improve upon my writing as a whole, seeing that peers of mine have adjudged a certain work of mine to be highly inadequate. It is difficult to transition into a life going away from video game fixation, but I am trying my best. Having seen the reality of what I desire has poured cold water on the fire of its intensity, but the embers are still there, flickering, and they still contain some heat.

Enjoy!

Life never ceases to be a challenge, but that’s what makes it both painful and enjoyable at the same time. Despite all these persistent problems I am grateful to be alive and to have some people read these rants of mine.

I have been eBay free for two weeks now, something I am glad I finally accomplished (after some time). Back in December, however, I thought that purchasing another video game console was a nice Christmas gift to myself: I have been ogling over one of the earliest home video game consoles created, and I decided that it would be a nice addition to my collection. It was Executive Games’ Television Tennis. It was an extremely simple game of tennis, much like Atari’s Pong: all one had to do was to bounce a ball off two paddles and keep it in play as long as possible. Executive Games had a short run of creating electronic games, but it was a fruitful run, and they were able to produce one of the earliest home video games consoles, so kudos to them.

This is the game.

I could not help but wonder, however, how more patient the people were back then than the people of today. I mean, they were able to play a game like that for hours at a time. I guess it was merely the novelty of it all, but it just seems they had more tolerance for a game like that than we do today. Thirty-five years has done a whole lot for technology, and Television Tennis just reminded me of that. I think it was probably the novelty, though. After all, once the Atari 2600 came out similar games like Pong were quickly phased out.

Back then, I guess the people assumed they were at the cutting-edge of technology when they had a Pong game in their homes. But time and technology, just like humanity, are fickle beings. Right now, I enjoy playing on that console, but only for 15 minutes at a time. One can only go so far with volleying an electronic ball. I appreciate the effort, however, and I appreciate its existence as a historical landmark in the evolution of games.

It also reminds me to stop wasting my money on eBay.

Ever since I obtained the Casio Loopy console I became privy to the reality of the possibility of getting the different video game consoles of yesteryear as long as I had the money. It was an epiphany that triggered a shopping spree that was neither merely petty obsession or impulse, but a maelstrom of both.

This is a cool game.

I absolutely refuse to call it an obsession, because obsessions are not sequestered in reality or rationality. They transcend both; in fact, they are irrational peregrinations into certain pleasures that can neither be controlled or placated. On the contrary, while I do purchase certain dubitable items off eBay (vintage video games, and vintage video game consoles), I do not purchase those items that are out of my reach, or unforgivably expensive for my status as a post-graduate student. I purchase items I know I can pay for and save for in addition to my desiring for them.

In the same vein, I refuse to call it an addiction anymore. Research into the psychology of addiction has made me realize that the fact I recognize and control my whims removes it from that definition. Despite my profligate nature with regard to the items that I have purchased, I have reined in a lot of my more stupid desires. Looking into myself, I can probably describe my current state (regarding eBay) as some sort of a chimera: the ability to be able to obtain the things that I wanted as a child dovetailed with my desires of youth does not bode really well. Understood from another lens, I know and recognize that what I spend is not money well-spent, but it is money that I spent and those things are things I own. It is a powerful feeling, one that has been welcome for nearly a year but is welcome no longer. I need to proceed to things that are more relevant and useful to me, or, if I can’t, at least on to things that are a lot cheaper.

The past few weeks, I have attempted to shift, once more, my passion for the video games of the past into the soap of the past. Soap is cheaper, after all, and it has served well as a new year’s resolution. However, when my mother called me, and I saw my Paypal account I realized I spent 30 dollars on soap. Just on soap. While it’s not an addiction, I realized that it was still a pretty stupid resolution and it does not really address the problem of me spending on useless stuff.

I’m looking for alternatives. I think I’ve watched a lot more anime the past month than the whole year combined, and it has helped a little, but not much. I want something unique that I can be passionate about without it harming my wallet in the long run. I know it ultimately boils down to self-discipline and a cathartic self-realization, but things are much easier said than done. I’m glad that I already made the progress of shifting the compulsion to something less harmful; now, however, I want to shift it to something productive.

Any suggestions? (Thanks for reading. )

I recently finished my first anime marathon ever since I started medical school. To sum everything up: feels good man. With that said, I was able to do it because I resolved to wean myself off bidding on eBay. I am extremely grateful for those who commented on my previous post and the grains of wisdom within their comments. I was wavering with symptoms of withdrawal beforehand, but I am glad to say that it has been a week since I have bid on anything on eBay. It may be a minutiae to many, but it is something significant to me. As I believe this will become a relatively lengthy post, I will divide the post between its central part [the anime part] and the personal part [my continuing battle against addiction], as I feel writing about my problems will help solve it.

I really like Feldt.