The past week has actually just been one long joyride for me: after I realized that anime, after all, is not as harmful an addiction, I have enjoyed the free time that would be absent until perhaps Christmas. A day after I watched Bakemonogatari, I started watching a series I vowed to finish when it aired, and it was the second season of Spice and Wolf. As a show fuelled by character development, the show was solid and quite well-done. However, I did not like it as much as the first season because it seemed as if the second season revealed a cornucopia of Lawrence’s character: despite being a merchant, he has grown to be kinder and more caring as well as knowing what his real priority in life is. On the other hand, I felt Horo remained relatively staid: nothing really developed from her, and from what I observed she has changed little from her actuations during the first season. This has been most obvious especially during the final arc of the second season, where while Lawrence pours his entire heart and soul just to have Horo as a companion, and finally realizes his own feelings towards her, Horo nonchalantly remains the same knowledgeable, kind, but flirtatious character.

It is undeniable that Horo has feelings for Lawrence. Even when he felt she was going away from him, she was actually trying to assure his victory over Amati. Her loyalty lies with Lawrence, and it reflects in her actions that she treasures Lawrence beyond just a friend, or even a best friend. However, she keeps on dragging Lawrence, playing with him, and never telling him what she truly feels for him. While this unwillingness to open herself up is extremely understandable (she has loved before, and it has ultimately ended up with the death of her love), I was just thinking that she should stop toying Lawrence around. If she could perhaps curb her tongue when she speaks, and perhaps just cherish their moments together it would probably be better.

It is no longer Lawrence’s turn to act. He has willingly sacrificed everything he had valued before because he loves Horo, and he has put that into words. He lost a significant amount of money, could no longer be a town merchant, but he was willing to give all of his previous apices just to be with her. Even with that, Horo barely reciprocates his emotions. I just don’t really find it funny, sweet, or heartening.

Has anyone watched the second season and observed this? Perhaps actions speak louder than words, but words are still important to convey one’s truth in one’s emotions. One cannot live with actions alone, and it is with this reason that people get mad when they have no one to talk to. Madness arises from the inability of people to reach out to others and to ask for help through their own words. Horo may have been hurt in the past, but I don’t think that’s an excuse to skirt the truth of the matter regarding Lawrence.

The second season remained to be an eminent show. But for all its beauty, a unidirectional development will eventually be tiring. My own ranking of the season would be an 8/10.

I have been highly productive with regard to anime. After waiting about a day reflecting on the second season of Gundam 00, I decided to start viewing (on just a whim) Bakemonogatari. I could not stop watching it, and I realized that it was among the best anime this year has offer. I loved it not because it was trailblazing or totally original like Mononoke; I loved it because aside from its story (which was entertaining enough) it was also stylistically both unique and pleasant. While it borrowed concepts from Mononoke (I thought this was evident enough as I went through the series), xxxHolic and Requiem from the Darkness, it still was original and witty enough to be an excellent watch for this year.

I also loved how the subplots (the different oddities encountered and the person suffering them) contributed to the development of the characters. One can see how Hitagi grows from a callous and totally cold woman to someone who has learned to care for another, but it is a testament to the greatness of the series that Hitagi does not become perfect: she is still verbally abusive and offensive at times, but she usually more than makes up for it with her kind words. There is a similar development among the others featured in the series, with Mayoi, Kanbaru, and Nadeko, who have changed directly or tangentially because of Koyomi’s involvement with them.

Unlike Mononoke, however, the series is of a lighter tone. It still got bloody quite a few times, but the presence of the amusing wordplay, the allusions to memes and other series (the one I found most notable were allusions to Doraemon and Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei) contributed to a more jocular series.

Finally, the TV ending of the series (of course one knows that there are still three episodes left) was a great culmination of the series. It could be seen that Hitagi has finally opened herself up not merely because she was rid of the oddity that befell her, but because she has truly fallen in love for the first time with our lovable and heroic protagonist. Even if one ended with the 12th episode, one could see that the series has come full circle: it started with Hitagi, and it ended with her as well. From an ice queen she has become transformed into a human, and she has become (despite all her quirks and idiosyncrasies) a woman who loved with all her heart. The emotional aspect of Bakemonogatari (aside from its interesting stories) gives it humanity. It does not dwell on man’s evil but cherishes life, love, and forgiveness, and this gives it an advantage other horror series don’t really possess.

It hasn’t been the best anime I have ever seen, but I can say that it ranks among the best. In my own, personal ranking it’s probably a 9.25/10.

What did you guys think of Bakemonogatari? Is it utter pretension, or a work of art?

I recently finished my first anime marathon ever since I started medical school. To sum everything up: feels good man. With that said, I was able to do it because I resolved to wean myself off bidding on eBay. I am extremely grateful for those who commented on my previous post and the grains of wisdom within their comments. I was wavering with symptoms of withdrawal beforehand, but I am glad to say that it has been a week since I have bid on anything on eBay. It may be a minutiae to many, but it is something significant to me. As I believe this will become a relatively lengthy post, I will divide the post between its central part [the anime part] and the personal part [my continuing battle against addiction], as I feel writing about my problems will help solve it.

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I am a person who possesses a lot of discipline with regard to the things I deem important: for example, I am rarely late at meetings, and it has come to my attention that I am usually the first to arrive at the rendezvous point. I also exercise when I deem myself needing it, and I also have discipline to submit pertinent requirements on time. However, I still lack discipline with certain things, and most important among those are my wanton purchases on eBay. Despite the helpful comments that people have suggested in my previous elaboration of this quasi-addiction of mine, I have not been able to successfully conquest this demon of spending on unnecessary things. I have purchased some more video games the past month, in addition to purchasing a vintage set of headphones (which, to my dismay, are uncomfortable despite having good sound).

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I have been able to look at anime from a somewhat distant and consequently rational manner because I have never experienced quite a number of the phenomena it evidences. I would only understand the idea of romantic love empirically, through the eyes of others: I had never fallen in love before, but I knew what love was, and I knew it was the reason why I survived until this day. I had known love, but only of the familial kind.

I’m, of course, not love’s cynic. Otherwise, Honey and Clover wouldn’t be one of my all-time favorites, and Maison Ikkoku wouldn’t even garner any mentions from me. I long realized that I was a romantic at heart, but I was simply never moved by another before. I think I’m not afraid of commitment: my entire life has been my commitment to family. I could have pursued literature, after all. I could have excelled in physics or chemistry. Instead, I chose medicine, and I chose it because I love my family. I am also not afraid of love, but I have never been moved by it in reality.

That was the case until now.

A few days ago, while conducting some preliminary scouting for our research, our group traipsed through the night in Bacolod: it was, after all, a celebratory time. It was Masskara, the festival of masks. There was a street party going on (it was my first time experiencing it), and so there were a lot of people around. During that time I saw the most beautiful woman in the world in my opinion, and it was cathartic, because I never thought I would see anyone as beautiful in reality. Her skin was exquisite china, and her eyes were as colorful as cats’. I would like to say that it was a fairy tale, but being my first time experiencing it, all I could blurt out to her was that I thought she was very beautiful.

Then I was gone. Then she too.

I realize that while I didn’t blush, the romance anime that I like, from the romantic comedies to dramatic tragedies, really reflected the feeling of falling in love. It doesn’t emulate the reality of this existence like well-made movies, perhaps, but it really does reflect it: I had a lump in my throat and I was weak at the knees. It was both an exhilarating and despairing experience: I saw the only girl who ever made me weak at the knees and yet I wasn’t equipped enough to even ask her number, or her name. God both gave me an immense hope and a broken heart, and while I’m grateful for both (it’s been time), it hurts. I want to see her again.

Maybe even if I make mistakes this time I can ask for her name … or her number … or even if I’ll never be able to, just seeing her will probably more than brighten my day.

To the Korean or Chinese mestiza … if you read this … please contact me.

I knew that the transition to medical school was going to be anything but smooth, and I was correct. I had a lot of misgivings before the start of classes and a lot of imagined problems with my soon-to-be classmates. Somehow, however, I was able to persist and flourish: perhaps this is the reason that they call man to be the superior being, as his capacity to adapt is nearly limitless. Read the rest of this entry »

While other post-graduates were busily preparing for what to bring the next day, I was on the computer looking at a red-and-black screen, dodging a missile at one point and ducking an alien at another. While they were excited to open a new chapter in their life, I was totally focused on vanquishing the ecclesiastico-military palette.

Enjoy watching.

I was playing the Super Cobra (using the Adventure Vision BIOS) on the MESS and I sought to finish the game (by myself) without infinite Cobras to see whether the game would present an alternative ending or not. I was so besotted with the completion of the game because it would give me closure, a closure that I desperately needed to prove to myself that my lust for that failure of a handheld system was juvenile. I vowed to myself to finish it before classes would start primarily to prevent any distraction from my studies. While I had quite a few misgivings regarding medicine, I am a man who sticks by what he has chosen, and as I had chosen medicine I am going to stand by it (despite the fact that I barely slept yesterday and probably wouldn’t later). After about five days of persistence, I was finally able to finish the game with a limited number of Cobras and I also finally discovered that there was no difference in the ending whether one had infinite Cobras or not: the game kept on without end.

Having played as if demon-possessed for a few days, I could not help but notice the different flaws that the Adventure Vision system had. For one, it was very fragile: a short fall and the rotating mirror mechanism that allowed the game to proceed would break. There would be no more game, and no more system. Another flaw to its design was that it was primarily built with red LCDs. The VirtualBoy was merely an upgrade from this console: both have the same red LCDs that cause eye tiredness, headaches, nausea, and dizziness. Finally, the games other than Super Cobra have barely any replay value: the system possessed mediocre graphics at the time, and once one finished with Super Cobra there wasn’t really anything else left to do but to start all over again (or stop playing, which was what I did).

My finishing of the game came at the most opportune time, because after I completed it I could finally disassociate myself with the game and with the obsession that plagued me for a good few weeks. I could also finally focus studying for the medical profession that I have chosen; and while I am still not quite sure of the decision that I have made I am extremely certain on my commitment to my choice. I can only hope that I can surpass the obstacles that I am encountering currently and the even bigger ones that I will face in the future.

Thank you for everyone who has supported me throughout my stint of blogging. While I probably will not stop watching anime, and while I will probably still blog, it will most certainly be not in the same volume or length as before. Right now I have dealt with three-hour night sleeps: I will probably have to deal with worse.

As Samuel Beckett most aptly put it, ‘I can’t go on, I’ll go on.’

Even when I was still a child I had always been admiring of pens in all shapes and sizes. I sometimes admired some pens so much, I stole some of them when I was still very young. While I no longer steal pens at this age (I’d like to think I’m a wee bit more mature), I still have the same admiration and quasi-obsession for these objects. I bought three pens at two American dollars primarily because they were aged and comparatively antique (two were probably at least ten years old). As expected, the ink dried out within a week, and I had wasted two dollars on white elephants. They barely even wrote. Read the rest of this entry »

Other than the recent stub, I haven’t really been writing much: I have had to deal with more pressing matters, such as the choice that would dictate all my future endeavors. Writing was among the least of my priorities, if you catch my drift.

I have lately been reading, however, and within the past two weeks (barring my failure with Barthes‘ S/Z), I’ve finished reading Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy and a textbook on neuroanatomy. While more insights could be obtained from Jude the Obscure with most people (and it would also probably be more relevant to them) I rediscovered something in my choice of reading Neuroanatomy instead of other literary texts: in a statement, taste is simply incomprehensible. While I would like to have blown my horn and say that I did it in preparation for medical school (hyuk hyuk), the truth was that I purchased it and read it primarily because the cover appealed to me (it was purple). As most people say, don’t judge books by their cover. There is some truth, however, in that despite my utter lack of understanding with the content as I read the book, it has prepared me for the grueling task of reading a few hours everyday, something I would have to be very familiar with when medical school comes, and something that is currently alien to me (I haven’t exactly been an excellent student in university). For all the reading that I’ve done I could honestly say that I only understood about 10% of the book; and that may even be a gross overstatement. Despite that, at least I could also honestly say that it has somewhat contributed to me honing my patience and perseverance in reading more academic texts.

I think the same can be said with regard to my tastes in anime. I do think that Honey and Clover, Cowboy Bebop and Ocean Waves are great anime, and a lot of people would agree, but I also appreciate and like ToLoveRu, something that erudite and elevated individuals would dismiss as rubbish. I sometimes prognosticate wrongly, like what I did with Toradora (by comparing it to Honey and Clover). I can even bear finishing series like Gin-iro no Olynssis, and I think I’m among the few people who did. It’s ultimately puerile and stupid, not to mention hypocritical trying to comprehend the tastes of others; yet I admit I am sometimes that. Biases just inherently exist within us, I guess, and Roland Barthes explained (in the twenty pages I’ve attempted to understand in S/Z) why subjectivity and objectivity don’t really exist for the most part in reading, or in the appreciation of media: the I who reads (or watches, or listens) is himself a compendium of texts (or music, or video, or movies, or anime). How he perceives a text is grounded in the texts that he has encountered before. Furthermore, reading (or any appreciation of media), isn’t actually a parasitic act. We also write something as we read it. This is why no two texts are appreciated by the same way with different persons. My reading of the neuroanatomy text was merely to complete what I’ve started and simply was due to an irrational impulse; to an aspiring neuroanatomist, however, the text may be a godsend. The difference in appreciation is among what ultimately makes us human.

To be entirely honest, I will graduate from university tomorrow afternoon. I was expecting Toradora to come out some time after my graduation, but I’m glad it came out early especially for the last episode. Thank you, CoalGuys! This is a very nice graduation present.

The final episode of Toradora addressed the cliffhangers of the previous episode, and it was very good. I guess this is simply up to personal preferences, but I wasn’t moved to tears in this final episode. I think I smiled throughout the episode, however.

I liked how the episode ended exactly how it began: with two birds on a wire, together. Somehow, the producers made us realize that the pair were Taiga and Ryuuji, together in the thin and dangerous electric wire of life. The array somehow paints an illustration of placidity amidst danger and death: being electrocuted is no laughing matter, and yet they’re together with one another in facing it. I thought it was apt.

Ryuuji, despite having plans of running away, faced his familial problems and ultimately resolved them, having Yasuko and her parents reconcile. Ryuuji also discovered the depth of his mother’s love when she pushed through with single-handedly raising Ryuuji despite having everyone desire her abortion. (A more profane thought: Yasuko was very attractive this episode. Despite being just in pajamas and a loose ponytail, I thought she was absolutely stunning.) Ryuuji and her have also resolved their problems, and I’m happy for them as well.

I also loved the kissing scene between Ryuuji and Taiga which happened afterwards. I loved it when Taiga was all ‘once more …’ again and again. She remained true to her tsundere archetype and yet also so true to herself. That was a beautiful scene.

I couldn’t understand why she transferred to a different school, though. Was it to appease her mother, or at least to get to know her mother more? Compared to her dad, Taiga’s mom was truly concerned about Taiga despite their differences. I do know Ryuuji suggested they wait for the parents of both of their sides to approve: while Yasuko I think is all for it I doubt Taiga’s mother would like the idea immediately.

Finally, I absolutely, absolutely loved the final conversation between Ami and Ryuuji. She has finally shown herself to be a caring child, a child, yes, but one who cares for the welfare of others. Did anyone notice the birds flying through the window? At the very last second before the scene segues once again to between Ami and Ryuuji, the two birds part ways. Ryuuji has moved on, and so has Ami: she doesn’t mind so long as one person understands her, even if it isn’t love.

And it ends as it begins: life is a cycle, and love is a part of it.

P.S. I’m glad Noto and Maya are making progress with one another. Kitamura really is chasing Sumire. I admire that. Inko-chan also finally spoke its own name, and the birds finally fly away together. C’est la vie.